Selflessness the highest form of Selfishness?
2006-09-02 - 8:47 a.m.

I need to get this off my chest before I start on my post proper. I thought that I knew you, but from what I hear from others, perhaps not. I hate it when two friends of mine dislike one another. I am left dangling, wondering how to cope in a situation like this. Yet, I wish that I could reconcile both of you, but at the same time I feel I shouldn’t seeing as it’s your relationship and I’d be interfering if I did. I put my foot in it last night and I feel really bad. I don’t know what to do now. Sigh.

A couple of weeks ago, in Youth Group we were arguing whether people are inherently evil. I came to the conclusion, that because of one man’s sin; Adam’s sin, we are all born steeped in sin, I know there’s a bible verse somewhere but I can’t seem to remember it, I should spend more time reading my bible. Yes, so we are all born inherently sinful, and thus we have to make a conscious decision to do good, particularly when we’re not depending on God, which sadly is quite often. Now we have to ask ourselves, what is sin? I believe that all sin is rooted in the most basic of characteristics of man; selfishness. Because we are selfish, we put ourselves first instead of God and others, thus it leads to sinning.

I once read a quote, “Selflessness is the highest form of Selfishness”. It sounds contradictory, doesn’t it? But to an extent, this quote is true; it merely takes a change in perspective to see what I mean. Imagine a hot air balloon which represents the ‘self’; the inherently selfish self. The hot air that is used to fill the balloon is our good deeds. When we rise up because of the hot air, we still remain the same inherently selfish person. No matter how high we rise, we still are selfish. So, thus selflessness is the highest point at which we can rise. “But why is selflessness selfish?” you may ask. Let’s now look at our motives for being selfless. We all have motives for committing selfless acts. Being selfless is somewhat unnatural seeing as we are all selfish beings. We are animals and we believe that it’s the survival of the fittest. So what drives us to consciously make the decision to be selfless? We all know of the lowest form of selflessness, which is to do something so that we get recognition and praise. But let’s ask ourselves, what about a mother who sacrifices herself to save her child? A selfless act right? But if you ask a mother why she would sacrifice herself to save her child, she would most probably reply, “He/she is my child. I would not be able to live with myself if I did not and instead let my child die.” Note, I would not be able to live with myself . Why do we help others, sometimes even go out of our way, sacrificing our time, our money? Isn’t it because of the gratification that we know we will feel at the end? In my last entry I wrote a tribute to my teachers and my primary school teacher read it. She told me, “That’s what makes it all worthwhile; to see the fruits of your labour and the gratitude that they express” and another teacher told me, “The reward is in the job itself”. So let us ask ourselves, would we still be sacrificing time and energy if we got no reward, no thank you, no recognition, and no gratification? I wouldn’t act if I was acting to an unappreciative audience. I wouldn’t study if I believed that I couldn’t get good grades or I didn’t have anyone to be proud of me.

I know that this is a very cynical and sceptical view of life, especially since I’ve been going on about seeing the good in life and in people. I’m not discounting the acts of selflessness that people do. In fact, I appreciate them a lot. But I am merely showing them in a new light. Is it necessarily wrong to be self-seeking? I would say, no, as long as it isn’t at the expense of others. If you do something for someone in a selfless manner, why is it wrong to expect something in return?

But I’ve merely been talking about selflessness on a human level. Without God, we are still the hot air balloon; inherently selfish and sinful. But with God, we are transformed and we are a new creation. We are no longer of this world, self-seeking and thinking that it’s all about me. Because with God’s sacrifice, we realise how God’s sacrifice was truly selfless. There was nothing expected in return, he sacrificed his son while we were still sinless. That realisation should make us want to become like him. We are slowly being transformed into his image, the epitome of selflessness, not earthly selflessness, but godly selflessness. It’s like the love that God calls us to show to our fellow man, no matter how unlovely they are, we are called to love all men, regardless of whether we get anything in return. Now, that is true selflessness. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a long arduous journey, full of ups and downs. We will never be truly Christ-like till we are in his glory and gazing upon his splendour. But let’s keep striving for that goal, because as cliché as it sounds, “The Best Is Yet To Be”, but it is now used in the proper context though.

I hope that I’ve given you food for thought. This is merely my argument that I formed in about half an hour. Poke holes in it if you want because I know that such a cynical argument is likely to have many flaws. I imagine that Auto will have lots to say about it. Haha. It’s a flawed argument delivered by a flawed person. But one thing I ask, think about it. Perhaps it’ll help us question our motives more and so then we can learn what true selflessness is and appreciate Christ’s self-sacrificing act all the more.